Using “I wonder…” to bring memory into the conscious mind

Why Use this Approach?

  • Easy to use
  • Can get fast results
  • Helps you find the real issue you need to tap on to get the best results from using EFT

What?

EFT can be used in two ways; the first is to rebalance the energy system and hence deal with the problems we experience in life. The second way it can be used is as an investigative tool to bring the Core issue, memories into the conscious mind. Using the words, “I wonder…” falls into the second category.

When we use the words, “I wonder…” it causes the subconscious mind to search through its databases and find the information and bring it into conscious awareness. This is generally a more effective way of working than to try to get information from the clients conscious mind. They may not know consciously what caused their problem. The subconscious mind knows because it is using that information as part of its databases for running the clients life.

How to Activate Memory Using “I wonder…”

The general structure of EFT is as follows:

Set Up

Side of the Hand Point: “Even though I have this (problem), I completely and totally love and approve of myself. (Repeat three times)

Thus there are three distinct sections:

1. Even though…
This phrasing serves to take power out of the words that follow it.

2. Statement of the problem
This serves to tune into the issue you want to deal with while you tap and rebalance the system.

3. “I completely and totally love and approve of myself” is one of the early default affirmations used in EFT. Its purpose is to momentarily overcome any resistance to letting go of the problem, thus maximising the potential for success. In practice, you can substitute this wording with a vast array of alternative phrases that are often more relevant to the client’s specific problem.

Tapping Sequence

Eyebrow: This problem

Side of the EyePoint: This problem

Under the EyePoint: This Problem

Under the Nose Point: This Problem

Chin Point: This Problem

Collar Bone Point: This Problem

Under the Arm Point: This Problem

Using “I wonder…”

We can still use the general structure of EFT, the Set Up, and Tapping Sequence. In the beginning, we still tune into the client’s problem as usual.

Side of the Hand Point: “Even though I have this (current life problem), I completely and totally love and approve of myself. (Repeat three times)

We may or may not repeat it three times. We can substitute, “I completely and totally love and approve of myself” with phrases such as, “I accept I feel this way, and that is OK” or “I accept me anyway,” whatever seems to fit.

We can then substitute in the following phrases in place of stating “the problem.” We can put them in where ever we want during the sequence.

The Key Phrases We Can Use to Find Memory

“I wonder what happened…..”

“I wonder how old I was….”

“I wonder where I learned to feel this way….”

“I was where I was….”

“I wonder who might have been there….”

“I wonder what this is really about….”

“I wonder happened when I learned to do this for the very first time.”

Safety Phrases

“Whatever it was, was a long time ago, because I am an expert at doing this, I have had a lot of practice, wonder what it was.”

This type of phrasing often creates a bit of humour, which helps keep the session more gentle, as well as putting a positive slant on it, by saying the client has become an “expert” at having the problem. As they say, practice makes perfect 🙂 even when it comes to mastering how to do our problems.

“What if it is safe now to deal with this”

“Whatever it was, was a long time ago.”

This type of phrasing is generally used when the client says they have had their problem a long time and don’t know where it comes from. This means that whatever caused their current problem, has happened; it is over, they survived it. It still, however, is being used by their subconscious to dictate their current behaviour.

Sample Tapping Script

Side of the Hand: “Even though I have this (current life problem), I wonder when I felt this for the very first time…

Side of the Hand: “Even though I have this (current life problem), I wonder how old I was when I felt this for the first time…

Side of the Hand: “Even though I have this (current life problem), I wonder what was happening when I felt this for the very first time…

Eyebrow Point: this problem

Side of the Eye: I wonder when I felt this for the very first time

Under the Eye: I wonder how old I was

Under the Nose: I wonder what was happening to me

Chin: Whatever it was is over now, so what if it is safe now for me to deal with this

Collar bone Point: this problem

Under the Arm: I wonder what happened to me

Therapist: “Did anything pop into your mind?”

Sometimes whole memories pop to mind. Sometimes fragments of memory. If pieces of memory pop into their conscious mind, ask further questions or use the EFT to bring the memory more into conscious awareness.

a. Dealing with Whole Memories

The client will say something like, “I remember what happened now.”

You can then ask, “What happened…” you can then get the detail of the event and begin to work upon it.

b. Dealing with Fragments of Memory

If a piece of memory pops into their mind, such as, “dad, is popping to mind.” Ask, “what happened with dad?”

People often come up with replies such, “he was very strict,” etc. You can then ask further questions to bring to the surface what happened. It may not be a singular event; it could have been many similar events. This now provides you with the information you need to help the client. It is good practice to get the client to tap on the side of the hand point while you ask the questions.

Summary

Using “I wonder” is a powerful and straightforward way to bring memory into the conscious mind during an EFT session. Like everything, there is an art and skill to using this approach; however, it is highly effective.